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Some funny quotes from people phoning computer support lines,
there probably made up but who cares?
A customer couldn't get on the Internet.
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try,
it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front
of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it....
This is a apparently true story form the Word Perfect Helpline:-
Needless to say the helpdesk employee was fired; however, he/she is apparently suing the Word Perfect Organisation for :Termination without cause!!
(o=helpdesk operator; c=client)
o: Ridge Hall computer assistant, may I help you?
c: Yes, well, I’m having trouble with Wordperfect
o: What sort of trouble?
c: Well I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words just went away.
o: Went away?
c: They disappeared.
o: Hmm, so what does your screen look like now?
c: Nothing
o: Nothing?
c: Its blank, and it won’t accept anything when I type.
o: Are you still in wordperfect or did you get out?
c: How do I tell
o: Can you see the C prompt on the screen?
c: What is a sea-prompt?
o: Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?
c: There isn’t any cursor, I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.
o: Does your monitor have a power indicator?
c: What is a monitor?
o: The thing with the screen on that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?
c: I don’t know
o: Well, look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it, can you see that?
c: Yes I think so
o: Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if its plugged into the wall.
c: ..........Yes it is
o: When you were behind the monitor did you notice there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?
c: No
o: Well, there are. I need you to look back there agaian and find the other cable
c: ..........Okay here it is
o: Follow it for me, and tell me if its plugged securely into the back of your computer.
c: I cant reach
o: Uh huh. Well can you see if it is?
c: No
o: Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?
c: Oh its not because I dont have the rihgt angle - its because its dark
o: Dark?
c: Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window
o: Well turn the office light on then
c: I can’t
o: No? Why not?
c: Because there is a power outage
o: A power ... A power outage? Aha, Okay, we’ve got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?
c: Well, yes. I keep them in the closet
o: Good. Go get them, unplug your machine and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you got it from
c: Really, is it that bad
o: Yes, Im afraid it is
c: Well alright then, I suppose. What do I tell them?
o: Tell them you are too ****ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!!!!
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