Nads funny pages and pages

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I was packing for my business trip and my three year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed.

At one point she said, "Daddy, look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers.

Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said,
"Daddy's gonna eat your fingers," pretending to eat them.

I went back to packing, looked up again and my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.

I said, "What's wrong, honey?"


She replied,


"What happened to my bogey" ?


_________________
StRaNgE tHiNgS hApPeN @
nIGhT!

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Mourinho goes to see a chemist....asks for viagra.

Chemist asks why he needs it....

Moanio replies....cos I cant get past a Semi!!!!!


_________________
StRaNgE tHiNgS hApPeN @
nIGhT!

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BUSH & CONDOLEEZA

Secretary : - Mr. President, Condoleeza Rice is here to see you.
George B. : - Good, send her in.
Secretary : - Yessir.

(Hangs up. Condi enters.)

Condoleeza : - Good morning, Mr. President.
George B. : - Oh Condoleeza, nice to see you. What's happening?
Condoleeza : - Well, Mr. President, I have the report here about the new leader in China.
George B. : - Great, Condi. Lay it on me.
Condoleeza : - Mr. President, Hu is the new leader of China.
George B. : - Well, that's what I want to know.
Condoleeza : - But that's what I'm telling you, Mr. President.
George B. : - Well, that's what I'm asking you, Condie. Who is the new leader of China?
Condoleeza : - Yes.
George B. : - I mean the fellow's name.
Condoleeza : - Hu.
George B. : - The guy in China.
Condoleeza : - Hu.
George B. : - The new leader of China.
Condoleeza : - Hu.
George B. : - The Chinaman!
Condoleeza : - Hu is leading China, Mr. President.
George B. : - Whaddya' asking me for?
Condoleeza : - I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George B. : - Well, I'm asking you, Condie. Who is leading China?
Condoleeza : - That's the man's name.
George B. : - That's who's name?
Condoleeza : - Yes.

(Pause.)

George B. : - Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condoleeza : - Yes, sir.
George B. : - Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condoleeza : - That's correct.
George B. : - Then who is in China?
Condoleeza : - Yes, sir.
George B. : - Yassir is in China?
Condoleeza : - No, sir.
George B. : - Then who is?
Condoleeza : - Yes, sir.
George B. : - Yassir?
Condoleeza : - No, sir.

(Pause. Crumples paper)

George B. : - Condi, you're starting to piss me off now, and it's not 'cause you're black neither. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. So why don't you get me the Secretary General of the United Nations on the phone.
Condoleeza : - Kofi Annan?
George B. : - No, thanks. And Condi, call me George. Stop with that ebonics crap.
Condoleeza : - You want Kofi?
George B. : - No.
Condoleeza : - You don't want Kofi.
George B. : - No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condoleeza : - Yes, sir.
George B. : - Not Yassir! The guy at the United Nations.
Condoleeza : - Kofi?
George B. : - Milk! Will you please make that call?
Condoleeza : - And call who?
George B. : - Well, who is the guy at the U.N?
Condoleeza : - No, Hu is the guy in China.
George B. : - Will you stay out of China?!
Condoleeza : - Yes, sir.
George B. : - And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condoleeza : - Kofi.
George B. : - All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

(Condi picks up the phone.)

Condoleeza : - Hello. Rice, here.
George B. : - Rice? Good idea. And get a couple of egg rolls, too, Condi. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get chinese food in the Middle East? I don't know.

_________________
-SITH HAPPENS-

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bunny and bear:

bunny and bear r walking through the woods until one day they come across a golden frog, bear and bunny go unto the frog a start poking it with a stick thinking that its dead. suddenly the frog ones its eyes and looks at the pair,

Frog: 'for those who have awoken me i will grant them three wishes each, no more no less'

bunny and bear look at each other and smile.

bear: 'bunny this is sweet we've got three wishes. i'll go first, Frog grant me my first wish... i wish all of the female bears in the woods loved?'
frog: 'wish granted'

suddenly all the female bears in the woods come chasing towards bear with lusts of love.

bunny:'my turn, frog i wish for bike leathers?'
Frog:'bike leathers!?! ok'

bunny gets his bike leathers.

bear:'i wish all the female bear in africa would live?'

again all the bears from africa come chasin towards bear.

Bunny: 'i wish i had a bike?'
Frog: 'ok!?!'

bike for bunny.

Frog:'final wish lads make it count'
bear:'finally i want all he female bears in the world would love me?'

his wish is granted and all the bears in the world come charging towards him.

Bunny: for my final wish hmmm,...I WISH BEAR WAS GAY?' and rides off into the sunset.