JOKE TIME come post em up

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omg nad!!! this should be your topic because you've posted loads and i cant keep up wih you slow down man

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Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.

The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any _expression on your face or you'll be eaten."

The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed.

The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.



The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples

_________________
StRaNgE tHiNgS hApPeN @
nIGhT!

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pineapples wtf haha poor guy

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wots the difference between jesus and a picture of jesus?

it only takes 1 nail to hang up a picture

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hahahahahaha


classic!

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haha nice 1 HM

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@Hm

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StRaNgE tHiNgS hApPeN @
nIGhT!

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Q: How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None 'o yo' freakin' bitness!

Q: How many WASPs does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to call the electrician and one to mix the martinis.

Q: How many Russian leaders does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Nobody knows. Russian leaders don't last as long as light bulbs.

Q: How many straight San Franciscans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Both of them.

Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare.

Q: How many gays does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to screw it in and the other to say ``Fabulous.'

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: How many can you afford?

Q: How many Lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to screw it in and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.

Q: How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: ``Twelve. Ya got a problem with dat?''

________________________________

Ten Reasons Adam Was the Luckiest Man
1. He is the only man who has never been compared to the man she could have married.
2. He had no in-laws to drop in.
3. There were no Jones for him to keep up with.
4. There were no credit cards OR shopping centers.
5. He never had his dinner interrupted by window salesmen.
6. He got away with wearing a simple wardrobe.
7. He never had to shovel snow!
8. If he had gone bald, who would have known that wasn't normal.
9. There was no "standard weight and height" tables - and the word FAT meant good.
10. When God asked "Adam, where are you?" He replied, "The woman you gave me was reading the map."

Little Johnny is passing his parents' bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his folks in The Act. Before dad can even react, Little Johnny exclaims "Oh, boy! Horsy ride! Daddy, can I ride on your back?"

Daddy, relieved that Johnny's not asking more uncomfortable questions, and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees. Johnny hops on and daddy starts going to town. Pretty soon mommy starts moaning and gasping.

Johnny cries out "Hang on tight, Daddy! This is the part where me and the milkman usually get bucked off!"

What do you call a gay Jewish person?
A He-Blew!

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A man and a woman are traveling through Florida, when they see a sign saying 'WELCOME TO KISSIMEE'

They bicker for about 10 minutes whether the city is pronounced kissimee or KISS-imee so they finally decide to head into a local restaurant and ask.

The man approaches the counter, and asks the woman behind the register "How do you pronounce this place we're in?" and the woman says "BUR-GER KINNGGG"

i am so un-funny.

_________________
Teun van Dijk: YOU ARE NO MATCH
Teun van Dijk: FOR THE DARK-DARK-DARKSIDE
Teun van Dijk: YOU ARE NO-NO MATCH
DJCJ is the best thing ever.period.

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The residents of a small redneck town urge the sheriff to arrest Dave, the local homosexual. Seems he's been propositioning all the teenage boys in town.

The sheriff dutifully arrests Dave and says to him, 'Ok homo, you got 15 minutes to blow this town!'

Your dad says, 'I'm gonna need at least two hours.'"

_________________
Teun van Dijk: YOU ARE NO MATCH
Teun van Dijk: FOR THE DARK-DARK-DARKSIDE
Teun van Dijk: YOU ARE NO-NO MATCH
DJCJ is the best thing ever.period.

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Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds???

There's twenty of them

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http://www.myspace.com/nortykay
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EMAIL: ladykay@midnightresistance.net

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what has Antarctica and Virgina Tech got in common?



Their both minus 32...

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http://www.myspace.com/nortykay
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EMAIL: ladykay@midnightresistance.net

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:?